As I am reading a life changing book ‘Atlas Shrugged’ not only has it taught me to shrug, it has made me to rethink and understand a whole new philosophy. A lifetime is not enough to understand this book completely..
A line in the book says, oh! here I am mentioning a line of this 1069 pg book where every line has truth in it and something new to learn in it!
” Denial is the worst of all evils”
I totally agree.. Denial is falsehood and sometimes people don’t want to face the truth but the fact of the matter is you are living a lie.
Some people live in denial their whole life, their case becomes pitiable as they live like Inception, they do not realise what is reality and what is a dream..
It took me many years to get out of two relationships which had never been good for me as I too was living in denial.
To wake up from denial is painful, its like a kick in my nose I got one night from my son who was sleeping upside down. The first few minutes the pain was unbearable, the blow was so sudden I woke up in panic. Then the next two days my nose was paining like hell but then slowly slowly I learn to live with the pain and then as I did not give any importance to the pain in few days it vanished. If someone asked when exactly my nose stopped paining I do not remember..
But I tell you reality is good, its the best..its the only way to move on in the right direction.
I have lived in denial, even when the most obvious truth was pointed out by my parents I did not want to look at it. Now life is good as it helps me choose my priorities. In fact if a person lives in denial phase think of how many people you love are hurt because you can’t see the truth. Your children are always hurt when you decide not to address reality and solve the problems.
So many people I see around end up making the same mistakes over and over again and can never get out of the web of nonsense they live in ..my father always points out in a second ” its becausethey don’t want to face the truth”
Funny enough I was making this peas curry and thinking about a past relationship with this person who had given me this recipe…
I was pondering on the reason ” what went wrong?” Was it me or the other person?” Then it flashed in my mind, ” It was you who where living in denial, the other person was always the same, you did want to see the truth that it was always a one-sided relationship.”
Sometimes I look at people and the way they give explanations or statements about their selves,their situations ortheir relationships, earlier I use to wonder are they so stupid that I cannot see it but now I canclearly see its denial they want to hold on to, well its upto all to figureout their own lives..I am glad no part of my life is a lie.
Let me share some things people say, and what I hear is denial ..
” oh I have not put on wieght, this is holiday bloating” it is apperant that lots of wieght has been put on in the last few months
” our children are so fond of us, they do everything with us.” It looks otherwise, you compel them, you have no regard for personal space, they have to spend every occasion with the parents nothing is spared not even anniversaries
” oh I give so much time to my children, we are such good parents?” then why is a maid accompanying your family at everyoccasion and helps the children with the smallest of the things, why is the child going to the maid first when there is a problem.
” we are one happy family.” Then why stangers feel awkward sitting with all of yoy? the long silences, the sarcasm, the taunts?
” my in laws are really nice people, they have thier hands tied due to the society we live in.” Dont you think is a story they are telling you and manupliating you,because their daughter is allowed to live on totally different standards.
” he loves me but he can’t speak up to his mother.” Really ? He doesn’t want to cause he doesn’t care.
” my son is not on drugs, he is just not well so he is sleeping.. Yeah sure some of his friends do drugs but my son doesn’t ” the whole world knows and has seen him doing drugs still you don’t want to belive it, you want to wait till he dies?
” business is good, but its due to the policies that it is slow” retrospect maybe its you that’s the problem
” I am a better mother in law than what I had.” Times have changes, plus its apparent with the migraines your daughter in law has that she is not happy, look at her gloomy, obeying face she feels caged.
” I give my daughter all the freedom they do what they like?” Have you asked them what they like, maybe they like watching big bang theory or some teen drama…you cannot see the resentment?
“Oh my brother is not an alcoholic, its just today he drank a bit more” you cannot see the nuisance he has become, waiting for livercirrhosis to accept it.
” I am a good person, I do charity, I go to the mandir every saturday” go ask what your employees, house staff, clients, neighbours, daughter in laws and son in laws think about you, get thier certificate before proclaming such a statement.
” I am a very patient and loving parent but my child is so aggressive and stuborn, its in born, todays children are all like that, we were never like that” think about it, where is the child learning all this? Children are nothing but parents reflection.
” I only have 5 ciggarates a day or I smoke only when out of town or with friends” maths mieh fail hota tha ya hoti thi? I see you buy a new packet every 3 days…
“My child is not overweight, this is all baby fat, yeh to khate pite ghar ka hai” arrey bhai he has become a size of a mini elephant, pura ghar kha gaya hai? You cant see it?
” I do not need help, Are you calling me mad? Only mad people go to the psychiatrist..” Really? What are you waiting to become sucidal? If you have fever you go to the doctor immediately so why not go and get help when you have some mental problem.
” Ever boy or girl I meet are not right. I cannot marry anyone like that” accept you are a commitment phobic then try to find the reason and address it otherwise you will end up alone all your life..
Many many more things people cry out, explain, cover up but all i hear is “denial…deniel…DENIEL”
Matlab tum hi apne aap ko chu bana rahe ho.. Koi kya karega jaab kudhi ko gadhe ka darja de diya…lolz
Well I love peas and I love eating curries
For me this recipe is a celebration of coming to reality. It would also be denial if I refuse to address the past and its mistakes.
This was given by someone who was part of my life once upon a time, when I lived in a land called denial 🙂
3 cups of peas
2 medium tomatoes chopped
1 whole red chili
2 tsp turmeric
3 tsp red chili powder
1 tsp hing
1/2 tbsp cumin seeds
1/2 tbsp mustard seeds
1 tbsp oil
Salt to taste
In a non stick vessel, heat the oil.
Add hing, cumin and mustard seeds. Once the seeds start spluttering add the whole red chili and tomatoes.
Let the tomatoes cook for 5 mins or till all its water evaporates.
Add the turmeric, chili powder, peas and salt.
Add about 2 cups of water cover and cook for 10-15 mins on a low flame till the peas are cooked.
Add water if required. Once the peas are cooked and gravy is a bit thick, check for seasoning.
Serve with steamed rice or roti.