I realised once a mother one is never carefree…in a good way as one had this tinny person to connect to for life…eventually he will grow up and have his own life but for me he will always remain the most important part of my life…not the whole of it cause though one is a parents, one is also an individual, a child becomes the centre of a mother’s life then follows everything including a hair cut or date night with hubby or fulfilling one’s own dreams.
Few days back a lighting thought struck me,I have started becoming an over involved parent, it was time to let go of him for a while. My son is 21 months old and never had he spend a night away from me.
I also needed a break as this milk loving boy of ours gets up at least two times in the night to drink milk, in a second while chatting on whatsapp with my friend, we decide a girls trip to goa, the party destination of India. Why am I mentioning party destination ? Am I a teenager, no way! wait till how much did I party…my party was sleeping and more sleeping…I needed to sleep and my friend wanted to relax away from her extremely demanding work..
My friend had some trouble at work so she asked if we could postpone…as the date was coming nearer, my heart was getting heavier to leave my son, so I jumped to that ” if work is important we can cancel”
Thanks to the non refundable non-cancellable hotel booking , which we booked in seer excitement without reading the terms and conditions the trip happened…
During this time, I realised I have changed so much after becoming a mother
THEN before having my boy I was an absolute last minute packer, I was know for throwing things in the bag…
During my earlier trips I have forgotten most essential things. Forgetting things like toothbrush, shampoo or contact lens solution was normal then but during our earlier trip to goa I have forgotten put my underwear bag.!!. as I was searching and unpacking, Mr. Lazy to shop asks me, ” what did you forget?” I tell him, he points out ” do u need underwear in goa?, just wear your bikini instead…” I stared in disbelief. First thing we go to buy some, it was a dingy shop not sure, I ask ” do u have nickers? ” the lady says ” of course we sell, so many hippies come here to buy” I realised wow! I am so close to a hippy.I choose my things all the same which the lady call them white, in my world we call that colour badge with dirt. Mr. Born to bargain, intervenes, before bargaining he tells me ” baby choose your things”, wow! What a valentines gift, as it had gone few days back..Lolz…anyways after bargaining mr. Bargain brainy buys 6 for rs.100 can’t believe it!, even apples are more expensive..
I have travelled like that, there were time I had forgotten my toothbrush and shared with Mr. No Problem, hey my defence if one can kiss your husband, why can’t you use his toothbrush?
NOW 10 days before there is extensive listing made 4 different lists… and continuous packing
1 – to pack for my son as he was going to his grandparents including his high chair and his important toys, clothes, school bag etc..
2 – groceries for home for Mr. Babysitter’s lunch tiffin
3 – things to buy for mum’s house for my son’s eating
4- the final one things to pack for my self, this was a hard on as I needed to pack what fitted, some did not fit, some buttons could not be hooked, some fitted but looked odd..phew! Finally managed to pack some clothes, also had to pack my high heels yay! Will wear them as I don’t have to carry a toddler or run behind him.
Wow couldn’t believe I have got so organised …but in all this organisation I fail to check my flight timing, go by travel agents word
THEN I would just leave, all I would do is let my family know the hotel name
NOW I am sending instructions on our family what’s app group about my sons routines, eating schedule, diaper Routines, bathing, medicines to doctor files location. Finally fed up of the instruction they tell me to let go …before that I still send few more instructions…
Day before, I check my tickets I realise can’t make it to son’s preschool, guilty starts building up. Mr. Only daddy at mother toddler, gets excited as he loves taking our son to his preschool
In the morning as I am bathing my son, I tell him that he would have a great time with dad, grand ma and grand dad, be good, as I get senti and kiss my son, he seems least bothered, decides to drink soapy water from his tub and laugh and plays splash splash.
EARLIER once at the airport holiday started, I would be in a different mood, I cut off
NOW I am still calling home, wondering how was school? Call up mom to tell her he has already popped and in an hour he should sleep,
every time I call they assure me to carry on and have fun…finally mr. Daddy on Duty, request me not to call any more and if there was something he will call me, fiddling with my phone I think of the many times hubby has gone out of station, it’s so much easier for the fathers to leave the children, I guess once u are a mother it’s impossible to be completely carefree. I tell my self ” All Izz well…all Izz well” and decide to call and play a prank on my friend telling her I missed my flight, but in all the commotion, I forget I had already send her a message ” waiting to board” prank is on me..now..
EARLIER the agenda of the trip was to paint the town red…yellow…blue…
NOW the agenda was to take a peaceful long shower with no one banging on the door or bumping his head, take naps, eat with all my senses with no one on my lap playing the food, pulling the plates, spilling water from the glasses and to sleep, sleep and sleep…
EARLIER I use to dislike children, anytime I would see a baby in a bar or some odd places makes noises and disrupting peace I would comment, ” why do they bring children here? ” and I would want to run away from them
NOW where ever I saw toddlers I missed my son so much and the sight of the children would increase the guilt of not having my son with me, alcohol and amazing friend to bond did reduce the guilt, I still wanted to run away from those children
EARLIER I would just pass out on vacation due to multiple @&₹;?)@# or after effect of mixing drinks
NOW after my friend slept off, I slept after watching my son’s videos
EARLIER I did not call my family for the holiday
NOW I am constantly checking my phone, I get a message I check, I get a whatapp link from Dad about mistakes made by my fav director Raju Hirani, in the movie P.K. I send an angry face ( you can’t call a smily if it is an angry face, cause calling it an angry smily don’t make sense) write to him ” you have time to show mistakes of my guru but no time to send me son’s photos of what he is doing right now”‘ in seconds I get photos, he is enjoying of course, I know that still I wanted to see his pictures
EARLIER I go flee market shopping with the same friend but Mr. Bargains a lot, tags along and embarrasses me with too much bantering, I over shop
NOW I go shopping with my friend as I rule I do not bargain from small shops, if I think they are ripping me off I don’t buy and if I need something I let them make extra money. So with out mr. Baniya I am happy to shop, my friend steps in, with her high end bagwati in hand, does not let me buy anything without bargaining, most of the times I give in at the shopkeepers price and her bantering goes fail. My friend gets pissed and tell me you can’t let people fool you like that, I tell her we don’t bargain when we shop for high end brands so I decide not to bargain. Friend not happy with my theory. Even this time I over shop.
EARLIER I would want to party in loud crowded places, with people, people and people and no place to sit! I enjoyed the chaos and eat anything that was served
NOW we just sat near the beach at good restaurants, nice live music, good quality food and long conversations.
EARLIER I don’t want the break to end
NOW I wanted to go home so bad, I just wished I was allowed to jump off the parachute when the plane was over my house, it would save the extra long 1.5 hrs to reach home.
Finally, I reach home and tightly hug my son, so grateful for having Mr. Supportive and my amazing family to take care of my son so I could let my hair loose ( literally I can’t keep my hair open my son gets excited starts playing and chewing my hair when I carry him) and relax. Most of all to have an awesome friend, with whom I have spend the best decade of my life, with whom I have evolved and grown up , who decided to leave her work without any supervisor cause it was important for her that we meet 🙂
RECIPE of Goan Potato curry
2 onion burnt on the flame, cleaned and roughly chopped
4 cloves of garlic
3 large tomatoes roughly chopped
2-3 tsp Goan curry powder
2 cups coconut milk
4-5 boiled potatoes peeled and chopped
3 tsp red chilli powder
1 tbsp vegetable oil
Salt to taste
Blend the tomatoes, onions and garlic into a smooth paste. Keep aside
Heat the oil in a pan , add the paste. Cook till the oil separates.
add the curry powder, chilli powder, cook for a minute.
add the coconut milk, potatoes and salt.
let it simmer for 5-7 minutes, add water if needed.
serve with steamed rice.